The once in a blue moon peace among all peace. The gap in the clouds and tranquility of the mind. The good days. They don’t happen often to people like us; the shy, panicked and introverted, but when they make that ever so sacred appearance, they remind us that life isn’t all so bad.
The sun is shining, the music is touching your soul in such a way that tugs at your happy emotions, and for once in your life, you are happy. You are at peace with the world you know and can accept yourself for who you truly are, even with all your perceived flaws and insecurities. You take the time to reflect, with a smile on your face, everything you have to be thankful for in your life; Your family, friends and lovers, all whom love and care for you. Having a roof over your head, having a job, having a life. All of which we never usually see. Through the doom and the gloom of mental illness we struggle to reflect. We struggle to appreciate everything that is positive in our lives. That isn’t us being ungrateful for all we are blessed with, it’s our minds not being mentally capable to see the greener grass on the other side of happiness.
What causes a day to be good? Who knows. Anything can trigger it. Myself, all I need is to run, for hours into the sunset until by legs are weak and my heart is pounding, and all my body is worrying about is fixing it’s mechanics, so allows my mind to breathe. They never last long; the good days. They can be brief but they can be oh so sweet. Take advantage of them. Abuse them; tell everyone you care about just how much you love them, something your innate personal negativity never allows you to do. When they arise, they allow you to remind yourself and everyone around you, that even though you struggle with life, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, now matter how long your tunnel may be.
When you have your bad days, you forget about the good days. You forget what it feels like to be comfortable within your own skin, and if that sensation even exists. You forget falling asleep so easily, that you may as well have been injected with anesthetic. Happiness is a powerful drug. It consumes you and clouds your better judgement, but at least it doesn’t make you feel like you’re the only person on the planet.
So until next time, the sun and the warmth. I’ll miss you the happiness, the love, the sense of peace. As the day of your summer fades to black, just know it cannot be winter forever. My message to you, if there is a message to be written, is this: I know right now, whoever you are, whatever you are doing, that times seem bad. You should know that it isn’t always going to be like that. Even the darkest of souls have to come up to the surface to breathe, you will find your peace.
Fuck the bad days, bring the good days bag.